| Kids say the darnedest things ... |
| "Did you sleep well, Elizabeth?" "I don't know." "You don't know if you slept well?" "Pap Pap, I don't know; I was sleeping." Art Linkletter asked a boy why he looked so sad and was told that his dog had died. Art asked him, "Don't you think someday your pet might be waiting to greet you in Heaven?" And the boy said, "I don't think so. What would God want with a dead dog?" On Nudity: I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, “Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!” On Opinions: On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.” On Ketchup: A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to pour. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.” On Nudity again: A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?” On the Police #1: While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a cop?” “Yes,” I answered and continued writing the report. “My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?” “Yes, that's right,” I told her. “Well, then,” she said extending her foot toward me, “would you please tie my shoe?” On the Police #2: It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake , was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, “What'd he do?” On the Elderly: I used to take my 4-year-old daughter with me delivering lunches to the elderly. She was intrigued by seeing canes, walkers, wheelchairs and othe appliances of old age. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for an embarrassing question, but merely turned and whispered, “The tooth fairy will never believe this!” On Dressing up: A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.” “And why not, dear?” “You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.” On Death: While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard a small boy praying. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin and wanted to give it a proper burial. They had put it in a small box with cotton batting, dug a hole and made ready to say a few words over the dearly departed. The minister's son was chosen to say the prayers, and so with dignity he intoned what he thought his father always said: “Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.” (I want this line used at my funeral!) On School: A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I'm just wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!” On the Bible: A little boy opened the big family Bible and was fascinated fingering through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and saw it was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out. “What have you got there, dear?” With astonishment he said, “I think it's Adam 's underwear!” |
| From our Cultural Guide Series |
| The Back Office at RadioWCPR.com where culture is intense |
 |
| | Back to the Lobby | The Reception Desk | More from the Back Office | The Back Office at RadioWCPR.com, Coudersport Public Radio |