| You return from vacation and have 37 of these in your Inbox. |
| Birds of a feather flock together, and all to whitewash your car. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's snarly dog run and gag himself at the end of his chain. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. He who hesitates is probably right. The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs?” Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. A sharp tongue can cut my own throat. If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep. Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important. The best vitamin for making friends is “B1.” The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts. The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge. One thing I can give and still keep is my word. I lie the loudest when I lie to myself. If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished. One thing I can't recycle is wasted time. Ideas won't work unless I do. My mind is like a parachute; it functions only when open. The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. It is never too late to become what I might have been. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, we call it golf. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. Lord, Please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. AMEN ! |
| From the Journal of Corporate Self Help (You read the darnedest things in e-mails) |
| The Back Office at RadioWCPR.com where culture is intense |
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| This is our late Gramma Rose: Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, but they promised it was worth it. She also wanted you to know that you're special, but no more special than everybody else. Maybe it's just something you ate. Maybe you just need some sunshine and fresh air. You can do it, kiddo. Thanks Gram. |